You set goals in many areas of your life. Exercise goals. Professional goals. Financial goals. Relationship goals. But how often do you think about communication goals? Yes, that is a thing!

Think about the number of times that you had a plan in mind for how a conversation would go, and when it was over you were left wondering, ‘what happened? That is so not how that was supposed to go.’

But how do you find practical ways to set communication goals when you are having a conversation?

Keep reading for 5 practical examples of how to set communication goals and keep your conversations on track.

1. Articulate your goals

It’s easy to think that because you have goals or expected outcomes for a conversation that the other person knows your goals. That is not how it works! You have to tell the person what you expect to get out of the conversation. It’s also a great way to allow them to share goals they may have for the conversation as well.

2. Focus on the current issue

It is easy for a conversation to get sidetracked away from the current issue at hand. If you are having a conversation and someone wants to bring up a situation from the past (like from thirteen years ago), remind them of the current issue. Always bring it back to the focus of the conversation.

3. Avoid judgements

 It is inevitable to make judgements about people. But we can manage our judgements. Referencing a specific behavior removes the degree of subjectivity and judgement. Next time you want to call someone lazy, tell them that they stay in the bed past 2PM every day and do not have a job.

4. Check for understanding

We think that because we use the same word that we have the same understanding and meaning of that word. That is not always true. Everyone may not have the same definition of what is means to cheat, for example, in a relationship. So, you can check in for understanding. Simply ask, how do you define cheating in a relationship? Answering this question will not only spark a lively conversation, but it may also save you time and energy later.

5. Say what you mean to say

What we mean to say and intend to say can be two different things. Typically, when that happens there is a misunderstanding that causes problems. Instead of hoping the other person received the message you intended, say exactly what you mean to say, without the fluff and secret codes.