Stigmata or stigma as it is widely known, is when someone, something, or a behavior is considered undesirable or devalued. Think “I would never want to be XXXX” or “How could someone ever do XXXX”. The XXX are the stigma of the situation.

Shame. Guilt. Hate. Division. These are some of the feelings that are attached to stigma. We know that we don’t want to feel this way or cause other folks to feel this way, yet it happens. It is the silence, secrecy, destructive behavior, hurtful comments, and disgusting looks that perpetuate stigma.

It does not have to be this way. You can stop it. We can stop it.

We can destigmatize the stigma. Yes, destigmatizing stigma is a thing!

There are three ways we can destigmatize stigma:

1. Identify the stigma(s)

We have to be honest and admit that there are certain issues and/or circumstances that we stigmatize either individually, culturally, or as a society. If we do not understand what we stigmatize it is difficult to change our attitude and perception about it. Ask yourself, 1) what person or behavior do I consider to be a stigma? and 2) where did my feeling about the stigma come from?

2. Avoid judgements 

It is inevitable to make judgements about people. One issue (of many) about judgements is that they are based on individual opinion, perspective and lived experience. Rarely are facts part of the equation. Because of that, it is easier to judge someone’s behavior or situation because ‘you would never do…’ Well, the truth is, you don’t know as much about the person as you think you do or understand their lived experience to make a judgement at all. Even if you are related to them or have been friends with them for over 15 years, you still do not know what a walk in their shoes feels like.

Be open to listening and understanding someone’s story. We all have one. Extend grace for you never know when it might be you.

3. Creating safe spaces for communication

Stigmas persists because we don’t talk about them. Once we know what the stigma is and we abandon judgments, then we are positioned to allow certain issues to be discussed more openly.

We have to create the opportunities to normalize what has been stigmatized. Communicating about stigmatized issues is the beginning of destigmatization.