Closure is usually something we feel we need and is necessary in order to “move on.” However, closure can seem impossible if the person has died. But it is indeed possible.

Here are two ways you can gain closure when a loved one has died:

Visiting their resting place: Physically going to a cemetery, mausoleum, or burial site creates a sense of confronting the person. Of course, they are not there in person; however, seeing a headstone or visiting an urn allows you to come face-to-face with a symbol of the person, making it seem real. You can write and then read what you want to communicate, or you can simply speak from memory.

Write a letter: Writing is a great way to express yourself in an authentic way. The action of physically writing out your emotions is valuable to giving you new perspective. It allows you to take all that you’ve been holding inside and become an observer to the emotions rather than just holding then inside and feeling them, giving you clarity and peace. Granted, you can’t mail a letter to this person if they are deceased or you have no way to make contact due to estrangement, but you can write the letter and read it aloud.

I have attached an exert of chapter 7 from my newly released book, You Don’t Say, that discusses closure and explains why it is something that is not dependent on another person giving it to us rather it is something that we define and confirm for ourselves.